INNER PEACE SPAM

I am passing this onto you --- it is definitely working for me. I think I have found inner peace. I read an article that said the way to achieve inner peace is to FINISH things I had started.

Today I finished 2 bags of potato chips, a chocolate cake, a fifth of Jack Daniel's, a pint of ice cream, three candy bars, a pack of cigarettes and I slapped the living shit out of someone I don't like. I feel better already.

Pass this along to those who need inner peace!

QUICKIES

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?
One US leader.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don't do dick.
How did the tugboat get AIDs?
It was rear-ended by a ferry.
Define "Egghead:"
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.
Mom's have Mother's Day, father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
Why is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet