[Click to view comic: 'Hummers, Bush and Hookers. No, this is not CNN.']

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

Johnny Cash would be proud of this comic. Or not. One of the two.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I had a boss once who got drunk at a company outing (at a racetrack). He was buying so I kept drinking with him. He had recently married a fair looking lady with killer legs. "There is just one thing that can keep a relationship on track, Spanky." he told me. Then he knit his brow ridge at me and gave me the secret. His wisdom. "Hummers."

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

That's a great story Spankling. I'm sure Johnny Cash would approve.

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.

When they started rereleasing the Star Wars movies in the theaters in the mid late 90s, Taco Bell was giving away a Star Wars Hummer. After careful thought, I decided I would like my Star Wars Hummer to be given to me by Yoda, with Princess Leia in slave garb a close second.

---
Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.