After careful analyses of over 400 near death experiences, a panel of experts have concluded that the Abotu tribesmen of the Comoro islands have had the one true religion all along. God is a talking lemur whose blessings come only by way of a hereditary caste of shamans in fanciful headgear. Sorry if this comes as a shock to those of you who've spent your lives cultivating false doctrines, but, well, you're fated to return in the next life as a variety of large rodent prized for its succulent flesh. Only the Great Lemur of the Abotu is all-knowing; all-seeing.
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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.
