Is anyone out there on fire?  'Cause if so, I just want to say that you get no sympathy from me.  If TV and video games have taught me anything, it's that people usually end up on fire for a good reason.  And anyway, whatever happened to "stop, drop, and roll"?  Too much like work? If you can't be bothered to put forth that much effort to better your situation, then I'm not shedding any tears.  Plus, you people smell bad.  I'd love for someone who is on fire to post here and dispute these points, but they're probably too busy making inarticulate noises and stupid faces like the spaz-tards they are.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

I hear most people who are one fire CHOSE to be so.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Don't believe what any fundamentalist christian says, being on fire is not a choice!!! You are either born on fire or not! All those christians out there that are on fire but pretend like they aren't are LYING to YOU and THEMSELVES.  Oh and being gay is a choice. Either way we're all burning in hell!

if being on fire isn't a choice, why are parents who aren't on fire just as likely as those on fire to have a child who's on fire? clearly it's not genetics

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what if nigger meant kite

This is even worse than the Facebook Obama April Fool's joke. Better luck next year.

Shit -- I forgot all about April first.  I've wasted the occasion venting some random brain fart of mine again.

Next year, things will be different.  It will be a time that will spoken of down through the ages as the Great Foolening.  You watch.

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I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.