Okay, so this is sparked by me coming home early-ish from work today (thanks, illness) and arriving to see my roommates clothes, as well as his girlfriends, on the living room floor. I have never felt so awkward for coming home early in my life.

Which leads me to reminisce about my previous roommates

1. Crazy, psycho, I'm-totally-still-stuck-in-high-school-despite-the-fact-that-i'm-26 roommate. She liked to come home at 3 in the morning and slam the door hard enough that I'd wake up. When I left her a note about it, she slammed the door so hard that my mirror fell off my wall. And my room is in the exact polar opposite end of the house. Joy.

2. Stompy, complainy, I-drive-a-Miata-so-that-makes-me-cooler-than-you roommate. He liked to leave dishes out until someone else did them, and then got angry when we talked to him about it.

3. Best friend from high school + her boyfriend roommates. 'Nuff said.

4. Incredibly erratic university roommate. She liked to drink a bottle of Baby Duck and pass out after locking all the doors and talking to her friend on her cell phone.

Everyone has had terrible roommates in the past, and/or awkward situations. So spill!

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

my roommate when I was a freshman had the same name as me, and we liked to pee in trash cans.

when I moved into an apartment, however, my roommates liked smoking crack

you win some, you lose some

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xx( o Y o. )xx

When you get married, nothing changes.  You still can't avoid the lunacy.

* advice from a bitter old divorced woman 

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

I didn't want to type the whole thing over again and figured posting all the comics would be a pain, so here's the link to the set I made about all the crazy people I've lived with over my lifetime:

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/ivytheplant/sets/crazypeople/

And that is why I vowed to never live with another human ever again. Fortunately, boorite is not quite human.

I must have lucked out. I've had a handful of roommates, and all of them have been nice people to live with. The only beef I have with my current roommate (and wife) is that she really enjoys moving furniture around. I came home once a few months ago and found that she'd moved our sofa and two good size chairs despite being 8 months pregnant.

Other than the furniture moving addiction, she does her share of the housework as well as being the person who has a real job and gets me and the kids those important things like food and clothing.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I think I've had my venting about my two roommates who moved out last month after giving me all of two days notice. Other than that I haven't really had roommates I could complain about.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Males who drive Miatas are not cool. Remember that.

And last year (my freshman year) my roommate was in Army ROTC, which meant every Friday morning he had to wake up at 5:45 AM for exercises and such. However, he seemed to have a thing for getting shit trashed every Thursday night, meaning that I was awakened every Friday morning by his alarm AND his phone going off and was forced to wake him. Other than th at he was a pretty cool guy.

I take back my previous statement. My very first roommate ever, the one from my first year in college, wounldn't wake up when his alarm clock went off. So it'd be going off for like five minutes, and I'd have to crawl out of the top bunk, shut it off, and then kick him until he woke up. That got old fast.

So I guess all my roommates haven't been perfect. He also kept a bong in his fridge. And he was from Bangor, ME and worked at a pizza shop that Stephen King frequented. So that was pretty cool.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.