I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May they all be joyful and financially rewarding.

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all the wrong things for all the right reasons

Merry Christmas.

I'll post a list of my gifts some time Monday.

I'll post a list of what I asked for or was expecting and the dissapointment I recieved in it's place.

And if anyone tells me that Christmas is about love and caring I'll cut your balls off with a rusty, poorly serrated boxcutter.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

Merry Christmas everyone! i baked cookies. they're over in the corner. and i sacrificed a goat, so luckily that Christmas ritual is out of the way and we can all concentrate on purging the world of the unclean

or am i thinking of Arbor Day?

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what if nigger meant kite

luckily "rusty, poorly serrated boxcutter" is an opinion and means "butterfly wings and rainbow kisses" to me

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what if nigger meant kite

Hey, I wonder where my Christmas presents are... ?

Oh, that's right! Santa reminded me I was Jewish. Laughed in my face. Stuck coal up my ass. And then donkey punched me.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

Merry cunty Christmas, wankers.

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Dad was flammable

*sniff* everyone ate all the cookies before I got one - what kind were they? I'm allergic to chocolate, so if they were chocolaty, I won't mind as much.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

You poor soul.

It's times like this that remind me of a friend of mine back in the day who was Greek Orthodox. Apparently they don't celebrate Christmas like other Christians. It's observed, but it's not a big deal. No, they celebrate the coming of the Wise Men, which to my understanding starts sometime after the New Year. Twelve days of presents, they get.

I'd love to be on the receiving end, but having to get twelve days worth of presents would leave my bank account a barren wasteland for some time.

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Clob enret yeeg bolocifer, shaz ub kleedl miffot!

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What others say about boorite!

I got this poster. Squirm kicks ass.
My friend got me Dragon Quest VIII, but she started playing it and hasn't gotten around to actually giving it to me. It might be a while. Goddammit.

I got some pretty great stuff...

I also currently have a grandmother sleeping on the couch, snoring EXTREMELY loud, and scaring the dog in the process.

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Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.