Post 'em here. I'm hoping to send them in to Readers Digest.
EXAMPLE: Fred: Bob, you don't make a steady living, do you?
Bob: Of course I do; why the hell am I alive then??
Make me not laugh.

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fff

"My dog has no nose."

"How does it smell?"

"Awful."

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Why does the cookie monster eat only cookies?

Because he's a CUNT!!!!!

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What others say about boorite!

http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/drawinger

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Dammit, composed...you beat me too it.

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More lust than you can shake a stick at.

A guy goes up to a woman and says, "Are you a model?" And she says, "No, I'm to scale."

"When you're in training to be a painter, they tell you not to paint downwards. That's because they want you to brush 'up' on your skills."

I'm submitting that baby to the "Jumble" editors.

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Ham-fisted ham fisting.