If so, what happened? I missed the speeches by Tim Robbins and I missed Sean Penn's, too. Anyone see what they said?

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

I hate award shows.

I watched Star Wars.

Sean Penn mumbled something about WMD's. Tim Robbins did the whole cliched oscar speech thing.

The best bit of it was Annie Lennox's performance. And the bit where Peter Jackson won "Best Supporting Actress". Or that might have been the lack of sleep catching up with me.

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Absorbed directly through the skin.

I was going to watch it, just cause Elvis Costello was supposed to be playing guitar in Alison Krauss' band for the show, but alas, I watched Goldmember instead.

"Oh, my TITTIES!"

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I has a flavor!

Elvis didn't sing, he just played guitar in the background and then finished the song with a way out of tune strum. It was nice to see him though.

The highlight of the night for me was seeing Will Ferrell and Jack Black sing the never before sung words of the "Your speech is over" song. Very amusing.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I watched the sob speech on Good Morning America the next morning, but nothing else. Because I don't watch TV except for the news. I must be really boring.

you didn't miss anything. It was the single most boring oscars ever. Lord of the Rings won everything it was nominated for, many it didn't deserve(derived script, best song, picture), but Sofia Coppola won best original script and that made me happy.

Here's what I've learned from this years oscars:

Peter Jackson is a bloated fatass.

People are obsessed with three hour movies that cost hundreds of millions of dollars to make.

Annie Lennox is a man.

Charlize Theron needs to go to an untanning salon.

Annie Lennox is still a man.

Drumming on a bicycle is the single coolest thing you can do in music.

Billy Crystal is getting old.

Francis Ford Coppola is getting older.

Sean Penn is just trying to be cool when he's liberaltastic.

Errol Morris has waaay too big of an ego.

Same with Adrien Brody, though he still kicks ass.

Annie Lennox has a penis.

The oscars are unfair and unbalanced.

Harvey Weinstein is a bloated fatass.

Annie Lennox does women. Because (s)he is a man. A straight man with a penis.

Ok I'm done.

The Academys are like the Emmys except biased.

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It's grime time.

Bill Murray looked PISSED.

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

aw osmosis jones didnt win...nuts

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xx( o Y o. )xx

Shit. Next you'll be telling us pro wrestling and the NBA are rigged.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I didn't see Nemo up there either. =P

Finally! My usual message board is full of people full of flustered happiness. "YES!! It deserved it! Way to go, LOTR! SWEEP!" Ah, shut the fuck up. It was a travesty. Quality films got shafted to reward commercially successful cheese. Why they did it, I don't know. Maybe they were afraid of hoards of angry bloggers. Urgh. The whole thing was a joke.

But Johnny Depp was really friggin' hot.

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Please remember to spay and neuter your elected representatives.

I missed the Oscars for about the first time in 5 tears. I was sad I missed Billy Crystal, was he funny? Did he manage to slip a jack Palance referrence into this one? Why does Possum have only 2 stars?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

It may seem a bit weird, but I think the consensus in Hollywood was to wait until the whole trilogy was released before awarding it what it deserved, so yes, "good" films did lose out.

Having said that, the first two LoTR films should have won awards last year and the year before - I think over the last three years the films on their own could have picked up a couple of Oscars each year. This way was more melodramatic, more Hollywood. It may not make sense to some, but to the mind of the Academy awards committee, it makes perfect sense to ignore the trilogy for two years and then give it its due this year.

And yes, the whole thing is a joke.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

I only watched it when Star Wars was on a commercial break. Diane Keaton reminded me of Groucho Marx.

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dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

No mention of fictition this year, alas.