Last weekend some friends asked if I wanted to go to a Renaissance Fair with them. It reminded me of yet another in a long line of brilliant ideas I've had.

When I lived in Rochester, NY there was a Ren Fair nearby right on Lake Ontario. What I wanted to do was to gather together a group of a hundred or so big guys, dress up in authentic Viking regalia, hop in our longboat, cruise up to the shore and then sack the fair.

Think how great it would be. You'd be cruising in towards shore and people would be lining up to get a look at you. They'd all be grinning and eating their big turkey legs and saying 'Forsooth' and 'Prithee', then we'd come hauling ass off the boat and start laying waste to everything. Everyone would be laughing and thinking it was a great act until the blood started flying.

We pillage and burn down all the tents then rob everyone and make our getaway. And if the Coast Guard tried to stop us we'd sack them too.

Then we'd go out for waffles. And sack Denny's.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

You rock, yo.

Love,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Kids today. Next thing you know they'll be showing up at Civil War reenactments in war paint and loincloths while sporting bows and arrows. What's next? Taking car bombs to Riverdance?

(Yes, I know better; go back to sleep, Dr. Pedantic)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

We were gonna bomb the golf course's clubhouse at night. Instead, we just torched one of their outhouses with homemade napalm and landscaped a few greens and the fairway with a 1972 Buick station wagon. Encounters with ball-washers did not slow the vehicle appreciably.

In retrospect, I regard the performance as a neo-Marxian critique of the leisure class.

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What others say about boorite!